"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Stress Management.
This article will focus on general stress management. A separate article will be written on the subject of Anxiety.
All of us have a subconscious mind that is working 24 hours a day. This is both a good thing and a bad thing.
It's definitely a good thing for students. Students find that if they start writing a paper the night before, it becomes much easier to complete the paper the next day. This is because, while they were sleeping, their subconscious mind continued to work. It made progress in terms of what the paper should include, how it should be organized etc.
The same thing is true with life in general. Your subconscious mind continually reviews your life events, especially those associated with strong emotions. It reviews these events from the perspective of the attitudes you have chosen to adopt. It tries to resolve problems. And it focuses on the things you think most about during your waking hours. Both conscious and subconscious thoughts have corresponding emotions.
You may think, for example, that anger at a co-worker is only a problem at work. But really, it affects you much more since those angry thoughts are being reviewed consciously and unconsciously long after you've left work.
You will not be able to create a perfect world for yourself to live in. But here are some practical tips for reducing stress.
First, to the extent possible, stop doing things you don't want to do. If you're uncomfortable on your job, find a way to improve things. Or find another job. Or change careers. Or find a way to become self-employed.
Second, stop letting people take advantage of you. Be assertive. Learn to say no. As a general rule, express your feelings: If someone is doing something you don't like--and it's making you angry--say something.
How you respond to other people is always a choice. It is a sin to allow yourself to be afraid of others. And doing so causes stress. So don't. The Bible says: "do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell (Matthew 10:28 NKJV).".
Third, resolve problems whenever you can. If you've got a problem with someone, try to resolve it. If you're not sure how to handle a situation, seek wise counsel. And pray. You should not expect to always be able to resolve every problem. Sometimes, people will be mad at you.
Fourth, forgive others and pray for them from your heart. Also, "love your enemies (Matthew 5:44)." This way, you will be much less adversely affected by the bad behavior of others. Resolve to be forgiving toward yourself also.
Fifth, save money. It is foolish to accumulate credit card debt and the stress that goes along with it. The Bible states: "The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender's slave (Proverbs 22:7 NASB)."
Sixth, don't worry, just pray and trust God. The Bible states: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)." One thing I've learned the hard way is that God really means that we are not allowed to be afraid of anything. Allowing yourself to be afraid is a sin that causes unnecessary stress.
Also, the more confidence you have in God, the less stress you will experience in your life. And attitude is always a choice.
Seventh, correct negative self-talk. This is essential. If, for example, you find yourself saying to yourself "You idiot!," correct the thought by saying "I'm not an idiot." Do this each time and, over time, your self-talk will change. Positive self-talk includes statements like "It's no big deal," "I'm not going to worry about it," "I don't care what he thinks," "Everybody makes mistakes," "I don't expect myself to be perfect," "I don't care if he's mad at me," "I'm not going to let this bother me" and "I'm going to have a good day no matter what." Scripture can also be used: Example: "It is written: "do not worry about your life (Matthew 6:25 NKJV)" or simply "do not worry."
Eighth: Focus your mind on good things. The Bible states: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8 NASB)." You will always be nervous unless you can find a way of focusing on positives and only thinking about negatives when it is really necessary.
In particular, do not allow yourself to dwell on conflicts you are having with others. This will result in an incredible amount of unnecessary stress--and it doesn't take long to bring this about!
Also, when someone makes a comment that you don't like, make a point of not thinking about it--or anything related to the comment. If you do this, the emotional impact of the comment will dissipate.
One technique that can help you to think about positives, rather than negatives, is to put a rubber band on your wrist. I recommend using a size 33 rubber band; these can be purchased in office supply stores. Snap the rubber band whenever you find yourself thinking about negatives. Then substitute a positive thought--or correct the negative thought as previously explained. This needs to hurt to work. However, avoid cutting the skin and seek medical attention if you do and it becomes infected.
Another technique is straight from the Bible: The Bible says to put on the whole armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-18). This means to use all of your spiritual weapons! For example, if the thought of someone you are having a conflict with comes into your mind, you might resist the devil as follows: 1) Say, it is written "Be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6 NKJV)." 2) Forgive the person and pray for him. 3) Thank God, in advance, for delivering you from Satan's attack. 4) Then, think about something positive. You will be surprised how well this works!
Also, read my article: Ephesians 6: Putting on the Armor of God.
Ninth: Adjust your everyday attitude. The Bible states: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV)." When things go wrong, practice giving thanks to God anyway--and watch how much your stress goes down! Remember: "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28 NKJV)."
Also, make the decision each day to have a good day--no matter what. That's what it means to "be joyful always."
Tenth, if you feel the need, talk to someone. This can be a friend, a relative, a pastor or a counselor. Talking to someone can release pent up emotions and reduce stress. The Bible states: "Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2 NASB)."
Eleventh, do everything you can to reduce or eliminate stressors. Make life choices that will enable you to live as stress free as possible.
Twelfth, think positive. One client told me he was able to reduce stress--and prevent depression--simply by choosing a more positive perspective: When he learned that he would have to go back to jail, he simply chose to view this circumstance as "a learning experience."
Thirteenth, exercise regularly. Preferably every day. When I worked for a social service agency, I used the stairs, instead of the elevator, throughout the day. This provided plenty of exercise! Today, I ride my bicycle a short distance, then walk up a steep hill, and then ride my bicycle down the hill and back home. This works great! Look for an exercise routine that is convenient and not burdensome.
Fourteenth, keep the Sabbath: "There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to the LORD (Leviticus 23:3 NIV)." Old Testament laws do not apply strictly to us today; we are under a new covenant. However, taking one day out of seven to rest and focus on the things of God is a biblical concept that applies today. It will reduce your stress.
Finally, figure out how to make yourself happy. The happier you are, the less stress you will have: "A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones (Proverbs 17:22 NKJV)."
Copyright © James Serio 2010